Cultivating Kinship

Living, learning, and working in Silicon Valley means constant change. There’s always a new app, a new startup, new solutions to new problems. Sacred Heart has been no stranger to changes over the past 125 years: new buildings, new populations of students, families, and educators, new bell schedules and school calendars. New community partners and volunteer organizations, too. No doubt throughout the school’s history there have been innumerous meaningful connections with local nonprofits and after-school programs. While the true impact of a relationship is impossible to fully measure, one would be hard-pressed to find a partnership more meaningful, mutual, and important to Sacred Heart Prep (SHP) students than the one developed with the St. Francis Center, and specifically its affiliate ministry, the Siena Youth Center (SYC). Since opening in 2012, Siena Youth Center has transformed from an upstart after-school program to a pillar of both the North Fair Oaks and SHP communities. Supporting over 150 youth from grades 3-12 with after-school, summer, and weekend programming, SYC has become the cornerstone of SHP student volunteerism. 

 

“Exquisite mutuality.” That’s how SHP Director of Service Learning Reid Particelli describes the relationship between SHP and the North Fair Oaks community in which the Siena program is located. Just three miles north of campus, the short geographical distance between SHP and Siena can mask the chasm that exists between the two communities when it comes to wealth, facilities, and access. Despite these differences, opportunities for connection abound and authentic kinship develops. “It’s about shrinking the distance between ‘service-provider’ and ‘service-recipient,’” Particelli says, “until, when one is lucky and persistent enough, the distance disappears altogether.” 

 

When former SHP principal James Everitt first visited the St. Francis Center, it was to recruit students for SHP’s inaugural class of Sophie’s Scholars. The mission of the Sophie’s Scholars Program (SSP) is to ensure that talented young people have access to a world-class education and that they are prepared for college and beyond, and in so doing that SHP continues to reflect the racial, ethnic, and economic diversity of the Bay Area. He was blown away by what he saw. Sr. Cristina Heltsley, or “Sr. C” as she is affectionately known by community members, is a Dominican nun who directed the center for over 20 years, transforming what had previously been a two-room bungalow serving as food pantry into a sprawling network of social services, housing, and educational support. Perhaps the most compelling ministry offered was Holy Family School, a Little House on The Prairie-styled school in which a small cohort of about a dozen students was guided by a master teacher in the same classroom from grades 1-8. As the students progressed through each grade together, the small second-floor classroom offered a safe, nurturing learning environment where character and faith were developed alongside STEM and humanities skills. “I saw in that school a reflection of the education we hope to offer at Sacred Heart, one that nurtures the whole child,” Everitt recalls. A commitment was made to that first cohort of Sophie’s Scholars from Holy Family School but that small serving turned into a much larger helping. 

 

Supporting that cohort of students meant supporting their families and their wider community. Everitt got to work mobilizing parents and friends of Sacred Heart—individuals with deep commitments to “building community as a Christian value” (Goal IV) and a “social awareness that impels to action” (Goal III)—who could throw their support behind the initiative. The spark was ignited. 

 

“Intoxicating,” was how Ron Espeseth, an early supporter of the partnership, described his experience at the St. Francis Center. Originally recruited by Everitt to help tutor a student, he soon found himself working with the student’s mother. “At some point, Sr. Christina explained that my student’s mother had not passed the GED math section repeatedly and only had one more chance before she would have to repeat the whole exam,” he recalled. With his help, she passed. “It was much less of a math issue than a test anxiety issue, which to my surprise we were able to address.” From there, Espeseth and his wife became consistent supporters and financial donors, drawn to the center’s focus on education for the whole family and dedication to the poorest and most vulnerable commitments that have shaped their philanthropy and volunteering to this day. “Holy Family School chose their student cohort based solely on the fact that they came from the poorest of the applying families. Years later I’m still unpacking the layers of what that admission’s criteria means.” 

 

It would be easy to think that such criteria would mean that Sacred Heart has a lot to give, and the St. Francis Center has a lot to receive. But that narrative undermines the complex and often overlooked reality of meaningful volunteer work: it’s only authentic when it’s reciprocal. 

 

“Part of it was justice—that these kids have access to education,” Everitt said. “And the other part of it was a deep belief that these kids need one another. We desired students to be in deep relationship with one another, not just doing drop-in service.” 

 

Perhaps no SHP student has cultivated a deeper relationship with the North Fair Oaks community than Ricky Grua (SHP ’14). “[He] found his community at Siena. He found something he’d longed for, even if he didn’t know he was looking for it at the time” said Rafael Avendaño, the founding director of SYC who served in that role for more than a decade. Avendaño recently left to become the executive director of Redwood City Together, but he has no difficulty remembering volunteers like Grau, in part because, despite graduating in 2014, Grau has never really left. “I still hear from him and we stay connected. Authentic relationships withstand,” he said. 

 

That relationship began on rather fortuitous footing. Grau recalls needing to finish his sophomore community service hours and being directed to make his way up the road to Siena. Grau recalls needing to finish his sophomore community service hours—he finished them, eventually, and stayed on as a volunteer in their 2012 summer program where he served as a tutor, coach, and mentor. Faced with a decision on what to do the following summer, it was never a question. “I didn’t think about it, really. I just went back the next summer, and the summer after that. I just assumed, ‘Okay. This is what I do now’,” he said. Grau continued volunteering through his years at Stanford University, and often found himself opting to socialize at SYC playing basketball on Friday nights instead of indulging in the unofficial extracurriculars of college weekends. 

 

Now a software engineer working between Silicon Valley and New York City, Grau credits his years at Siena Youth Center for helping to shape him into the man he is today. “I credit Rafa with teaching me so much, and I look to him as a mentor,” he said. “At SYC, I learned that to give back to a community, it’s best to do it in ways that give you joy. So now I volunteer in my free time in New York with Publicolor (a stay-in-school nonprofit), because working with kids gives me that.” 

 

Grau’s efforts were essential to getting the partnership off on the right foot. In the effort to make service a part of the curriculum, schools often earn a reputation as being too inward- looking, even when purporting to look outward. If not cautious, questions of “how can we be of help?” or “how can we be in relationship?” can be usurped by “how can our students get their hours done?” Avendaño recalls being skeptical at first. “I had been [disappointed] by university projects before. But I wasn’t skeptical when I met [the service-learning staff] and I saw that they were open to learning from our vision and the vision of our youth. They brought me to campus, showed me all the facilities, and asked ‘what can we do to enhance the mission of the Siena Youth Center?’ That’s when I knew we could work together.”  

 

That visit to the SHP campus marked an evolution in the partnership and the birth of the HeArt Exchange program. Still recovering from the Great Recession, many public school districts made cuts to arts programs and co-curricular programs to make up for budget shortfalls. Particelli, Avendaño, and then-SHP art teacher Peggy O’Leary saw an opportunity in the crisis: why not make use of the abundant facilities available at SHP to help fill the gap? A tutoring van already carried a group of SHP student tutors to Siena each week, so couldn’t the same van bring a group of Siena youth back to SHP, where students could lead them in art (hence the “HeArt Exchange”), robotics, athletics, dance, swimming, and a host of other activities SHP students engage in each day? 

 

“All we needed were student leaders to step forward,” recalls Particelli. Step up they did. 

 

 

“I remember the hugs the most,” Asha Agarwal (SHP ’19) reflected. “That and the sprint from the van, this group of kids running with excitement to start our activity. A young girl named Diana always led the way with the biggest smile and biggest hug.” Agarwal, who now works in addiction recovery with plans for a master’s degree in psychology to work with youth in schools, isn’t alone in her recollection. The hurried excitement of nine Siena youth between third and sixth grades scrambling out of the van to the field, studio, or pool was a pronounced memory for everyone involved in the HeArt Exchange. 

 

“I didn’t think they’d be so excited, but every week the energy only seemed to increase,” said Gretchen Connors (SHP ’19), now a pediatric nurse in Nashville. She credits her time with HeArt Exchange with helping to teach her the value of showing up ready to foster enthusiasm and provide encouragement to her young patients. 

 

Carter Sun (SHP ’21), a computer science major at Stanford who brought his robotics HeArt Exchange program to SYC, remembers a similar excitement. “Each week I returned I was getting swarmed by what felt like 50 kids,” he said. “If I taught them even once, they were so excited for me to come back.”

 

Sun, Agarwal, and Connors form just a part of what has become an extensive fellowship of HeArt Exchange leaders composed of students who have shared their passions and developed skills while welcoming cohorts of Siena youth to campus. “My mom was a teacher, and I’m sure she gave me some tips,” said Connors. “The first class I taught I didn’t really know what I was doing and I didn’t really feel prepared—afterwards I knew I had three more weeks I needed to plan. They were counting on me, so I worked hard to get ready.” 

 

Connors’ initial run teaching kids about nutrition and how to prep kid-friendly, healthy after school snacks led her to continue past her initial four-week commitment to stay on and help for the remainder of the year, assistance Agarwal was glad to have. 

 

“I grew up knowing I wanted to teach,” she said. “I used to sit my baby brother down in front of a chalkboard and teach him pretend lessons before eventually helping him with real homework. When I began tutoring for my community service project and saw the difference in math and reading assignments between the kids I was tutoring and what my brother was working on, I began asking questions about why kids of the same age and skill were being given different opportunities.” Agarwal recognized that the enrichment programs she offered, like teaching creativity through crafting snowglobes and Christmas ornaments, or confidence and collaboration through dance, would serve students not only by building social-emotional skills but academic skills as well. 

 

Sun’s robotics program was born out of similar questions. Having already begun his tutoring at SYC, Sun saw the difference in math problems given to his younger sister and kids he was tutoring in her same grade. “It made no sense to me,” he said. “These two places were geographically so close… It made me want to learn why the same math wasn’t being taught and what I could do to help, because the kids were capable.” As an active member of the SHP robotics club, Sun jumped on a burgeoning program being offered by some older students. He quickly realized the draw robotics had as an opportunity to introduce more advanced math and even computer science concepts. There were setbacks and challenges, but the relationships Sun and his fellow volunteers were deepening provided motivation to find creative solutions. “Sourcing materials was difficult as more and more kids began coming to the new club, but [the SHP robotics team] helped fill that gap. And we had all these old computers in stacks up to my shoulders we’d use for the coding lessons, so another volunteer and I built a charging cart out of some spare materials we had at school. The hours we spent designing lessons, gathering materials, and setting the space added up, but doing it all against the backdrop of the community we were becoming a part of was awesome.”

 

Sun’s efforts led him to a senior honors independent study (SHIS) on the possibilities that constructivist learning modules might hold in closing the opportunity gap for students from under-resourced communities, an academic area he still pursues today. Using pre- and post- testing, students who completed Sun’s summer robotics intensive demonstrated greater gains and fewer losses in math during the summer. Suffice to say that a “lifelong commitment to service” (Goal III, Criterion 7) had taken root. 

 

The brother- and sisterhood of volunteers committed to supporting this partnership now spans several “generations” of Gators, with current students carving new roads from paths laid by alumni like Sun, Connors, and Agarwal, people they’ve never met but whose legacy has inspired greater commitment. “When I learned about HeArt Exchange, I jumped at the opportunity. It was exciting because as they learned, I learned,” said Natasha Bamdad (SHP ’24), who turned her initial weekly HeArt Exchange volunteering program into a nine-week summer program teaching STEM concepts to kids ages five to 12. “I was learning through and with them—not just how to teach and explain concepts to kids, but also about the concepts themselves.” 

 

With the help of nine fellow Gators she recruited, Bamdad designed the program and organized fundraising support in order to help level the playing field and inspire confidence in young students to become scientists—children who may have otherwise never envisioned that path. There’s a palpable excitement and pride that takes hold when kids begin to imagine these new possibilities. Bamdad recalls, “The students were so intrigued about this fossil-digging lab we did. Once they were able to find and grab them they were so eager to learn about dinosaurs, take them home, and share with their parents.”

 

Bamdad cites Goal III as a motivating factor for her service. “If you see something and you know you can make a change, you should be the person to step up and make it happen… you never know what’s going to happen—the ripple effect that an action can cause—until you take the initiative.” 

 

Any ripples from this experience? Bamdad pauses, “There was one girl who asked all the right questions about the labs. She was so bright and grasped things right away. When the program ended she asked ‘when are you coming back?’” Ripples, indeed. 

 

 

If past is prologue, the future of the partnership between SYC and SHP is indeed bright and the ripples will only grow, not least of all because SYC alumni now populate and enrich SHP ranks in ever greater numbers, including in their service to the HeArt Exchange. Take Diana Caamal (SHP ’26), she of the big smile and bigger hugs. Now a sophomore, most weeks she can be found welcoming the next generation of HeArt Exchange participants. The reasons are simple: “It’s an amazing partnership. Before I was even a student I got a feel for the campus and began to feel comfortable here. And now that I’m starting to help teach classes, it gives me a deeper appreciation for what the volunteers were doing for me.” 

 

Ryan Carlos-Barajas (SHP ’26), a fellow HeArt Exchange alumnus, agrees. “It made the transition a lot easier. Coming to SHP from Holy Family, we already knew people from the community who made us feel welcome.” 

 

As Caamal thinks about her role going forward, she says, “I’m excited to teach, plan, and share with the next group this campus that I’ve been able to call home.”

 

“Home.” In a location where extreme poverty and extreme wealth abut, we are reminded of the chasm between people and communities that are called by God to be in solidarity. Avendaño, the former director, shuns the “at-risk” moniker typically assigned to children from places like North Fair Oaks, instead insisting on “opportunity youth” to remind people that there is a choice in how young people are viewed. The opportunities are myriad, if we choose to see them: kinship, achievement, learning, loving support, and community, to name a few. In short, the opportunity to help build the Kingdom of God.

 

There are no shortcuts to building the Kingdom, but for more than a decade, the partnership between Sacred Heart, Siena Youth Center, and the St. Francis Center has resembled what it might look like. 

 

“Exquisite mutuality.”